Candor and Mendacity
by PirateKnightoftheRings
Summary: In a relationship surrounded by lies, can Castle and Beckett start up a romance?  They might not get a chance to find out when life interferes and Beckett goes missing. Caskett.  Rating may go up.
1. Chapter 1

So . . . I haven't posted anything on here in a very long time, and my track record for finishing stories isn't very good, but I've got a sudden inspiration and I just had to write. This is my first Castle fic so I hope you enjoy it! This takes place sometime in season 4, so there are spoilers for pretty much everything that's already aired. I know that the show is going to deal with all of this in a different and probably much better way, but I just wanted to get my ideas out too.

Disclaimer: Trust me if I owned the show, it wouldn't be near as good.

Summary: In a relationship surrounded by lies, can Castle and Beckett start up a romance? They might not get a chance to find out when life interferes and Beckett goes missing.

Candor and Mendacity

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><p>It had been a long and difficult case. They were both exhausted and hungry, and they had both saved each other's lives over the last week. The case had been the vicious rape and murder of a teenage girl, and had been far too close to home for Castle, who couldn't keep his mind off the redness of the victim's hair, and the closeness in age she shared to Alexis. After a tiring and relentless search they had finally cornered the guy, but he had drawn a gun on Castle, and Beckett had been forced to shoot home. The bullet had pierced his head. The scene had been messy, and both of their clothes were spotted with bloodstains.<p>

So now they were both tired and raw, on edge, when they finally left the precinct at eight pm that night. They had only just made it out the door of the precinct when she grabbed his forearm and pulled him to her. She was looking at him uncertainly, so he decided to take the lead. He cupped her cheeks in his hands and drew her lips gently to his, providing her ample opportunity to escape if she so desired. She closed her eyes and lasted exactly four and a half seconds before she pulled out. She blinked rapidly and stumbled back several steps, trembling.

"I- I can't. I can't. I- I'm sorry. I'm just . . . I'm just not ready. I'm scared. I can't do this."

Castle took several steps toward her. "Kate. It's okay Kate. We'll take this as slow as you need. I promise I won't hurt you. Please just give me a chance."

"No," Beckett trembled. "No." She stumbled away again until her back hit the brick wall of the precinct. "You don't understand. I have to tell you. I can't . . . keep this to myself anymore. There's . . . I remember-"

"Remember what?" Castle asked.

"No, listen. My shooting. I remember . . . everything . . . that happened." She rubbed the center of her chest. "I remember what you told me . . . before I passed out. I lied."

It was Castle's turn to stumble, all the way into a bench, which he collapsed into, putting his head into his hands. Beckett started to take a tentative step toward him, but stopped and instead took one in the other direction. She glanced at him before looking at her own feet.

"I- I'm sorry," she muttered.

But simultaneously her expression turned rigid and she stopped showing those feelings that hurt so much. She turned from him and fled the scene at a fast-paced walk.

She stopped at her usual takeout place, Sila Thai, on her way home. It was only a few blocks from her apartment, so it was delicious, cheap, and convenient. She wasn't really hungry but she hadn't eaten since morning, and new that she should at least have a few bites. The cashier recognized her the moment she opened the door.

"Detective Beckett! The usual?"

She nodded somberly and paid for her food before taking a seat to wait. The service was fast as usual, and she was soon heading out of the restaurant and cutting through the alleyway to take the shortcut home. She knew it was stupid, cutting through the dark and highly questionable alleyways, but it shortened her walk home by nearly ten minutes, and she always carried her gun anyways. Katherine Beckett could take care of herself.

But on this night her mind wandered to Rick Castle. Rick Castle who had kissed her. Whom she had kissed back. She longed to do it again, yet the thought of it terrified her. She had felt something deep inside her, and it scared the shit out of her. Not that it mattered. She wondered if he would ever even forgive her. She wouldn't blame him if he didn't. She had betrayed him, and he deserved better, deserved someone who wasn't so afraid to love him the way he deserved, and who would always be truthful with him. Some partner she was.

She was taken completely by surprise when the needle was jammed sharply into her side, and the plunger was pushed in all the way by the time she turned to face her attacker. She kicked the tall man in the side, knocking him down, and was going in for more when a thick, muscled arm wrapped itself tightly around her neck from behind, lifting her up and cutting off her airways.

She struggled for breath, gasping, but none came. She swung her legs at her second attacker but hit only air. She clawed at his burly arm, but he didn't even flinch. Again she tried desperately to bring air to her lungs, but none came, and her vision darkened. So she went limp in his arms, and then used his relaxed response to swing her head back hard into his face, smiling at the satisfactorily resounding crack of a broken nose. His grip loosened enough for her to drop to the ground, and she dispatched him with a sweeping kick at his ankles.

Then she turned to face her first attacker but was immediately met with his fist to her face, knocking her backwards. He drew a small knife, and she desperately raised her arm to block it. Redness and pain blossomed on her skin. She jumped to her feet and blocked his next swing with a round kick that knocked the weapon out of his hands. Her next kick, a spinning jump, was aimed at his head. Her attempt was halted mid-jump when he caught her foot, but her body's momentum pulled her around, twisting her ankle until she felt it crack. Fire raced through her. She was surprised when the second attacker caught her body before it hit the ground, and surprised again when she was roughly thrown against the wall of the alley. She felt her head slam into the brick and her body slide down the wall. There was nothing for it but to stand back up but her body disobeyed. Her legs wouldn't move. Neither would the rest of her body. She could only watch her attackers approach as blood dripped into her eyes and her vision blurred until there was nothing but darkness.

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><p>Thank you for reading! Let me know if you enjoyed it and I should keep writing!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

So I know the wait for this chapter was kind of long but I must warn you now that I'm not exactly known for fast updates. But I do promise to try. Now I'd like to thank you all for the wonderful responses I got from everyone. They made me very happy and encouraged me to keep writing. Now unfortunately you won't see Beckett this chapter, but she should be in at least some of the next one, and some of your questions will be answered. As for why people are after her, that's a question for quite a bit later, but it will be answered. And so without further adieu, enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I am a poor college student, not a well-off script writer. **

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><p>Candor and Mendacity<p>

CHAPTER TWO

When Castle's alarm went off loudly at six am, he groaned, shut it off, and rolled over in his bed. Memories of last night's conversation ran through his head, mixed with anger towards Beckett, and he gave in to the temptation of his warm bed. He would take the day off and figure out what to do about Beckett tomorrow. At this point, with the recent revelation currently on his tired mind, he wasn't sure he could follow Beckett around anymore until she made up her mind. Following her with such uncertainty about where they stood only caused him pain. So he closed his eyes.

He was woken again at seven by Alexis, on her way out the door for school.

"Dad?" She was shaking his shoulder. "Don't you have to go soon? Beckett and the other detectives at the precinct will be wondering where you are!"

Castle grumbled and spoke in barely audible groans. "mmm staying home today."

"But dad." Alexis shook him again. "Shouldn't you at least call Detective Beckett so she knows where you are? She'll be worried about you."

"Go to school Alexis," Castle grumbled before rolling over guiltily.

He was relieved when Alexis gave up and left, and let out the breath he'd been holding when he heard the apartment door close and lock behind her. He was slightly ashamed that keeping Beckett out of the loop gave him a bit of angry pleasure. Maybe she would be worried about him. Serves her right. Maybe it would encourage her to decide how she felt about him. With that he once again rolled over and went back to sleep.

Within the next two hours, he was woken several more times by his cell phone. Always Ryan or Esposito. He felt bad about ignoring their calls, but he really didn't want to explain the situation to them. If Beckett was okay with sharing, which he was sure she wasn't, then she could tell them. Castle knew he certainly wouldn't.

When his buzzer rang at nine-thirty, he tried desperately to ignore it. But it rang again and again, and was soon followed by a set of furious knocking. Then he heard Esposito's voice. It was loud enough to carry into his bedroom.

"Castle! If you're in the there you'd better come open the door. I don't know what the hell you and Beckett are playing at but if you don't get your asses to the door in ten seconds I'm kicking it down!"

Castle frantically leapt out of bed and ran for the stairs. He tripped halfway down and rolled down the rest of them, hitting his funny bone painfully against the rail. He scrambled back to his feet and reached the door just as Esposito resumed his shouting.

"Okay that's it! I'm coming in!

Castle opened the door to Esposito's foot in his face. Thankfully it missed him, and Esposito quickly righted himself without help, and proceeded to look judgmentally at Castle's pajamas, which just so happened to be his dinosaur footies. They were in fact quite warm and comfortable in the chilly January temperature.

Castle cleared his throat. "Yes?"

Esposito glared at him. "Where you been man?"

"Sleeping," Castle answered as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"You shoulda called us Castle. Beckett here?" He assumed.

Castle frowned. "No. Why'd you think that?"

Esposito shrugged. "Well you two were alone in the precinct when we left last night so we assumed . . . you know."

Castle knew , but didn't say so. "Know what?"

"Well . . . just you know, it's about damn time for you two. Didn't you leave together?"

Castle shook his head with a slight hint of anger. "No. I haven't seen her since leaving the precinct."

"Oh." Esposito seemed disappointed. "We thought maybe she was with you."

"Wait," Castle's frown deepened. "Why are you asking me about Beckett? Wasn't she at the precinct with you guys?"

Esposito shook his head. "She never came to work this morning. We thought maybe she would just come in late- but is been almost two hours and she's usually early."

"That's not like her." Castle's anger for Beckett dissipated in lieu of his newfound worry. "Did you check her apartment?"

"No," Esposito responded. "Ryan and I were going there next. He's waiting in the car. You coming?"

"Give me five minutes," was Castle's response.

Five minutes later found them already in the car on their way to Beckett's, and Castle on the phone with Lanie.

"She didn't come to work, Lanie!" Castle plead. "She always comes to work. She would've at least called first. Are you sure you haven't seen her?"

_"Castle I'm sure. Tell you what. She probably just slept through her alarm. She's hasn't slept much in a long time. But if you're that worried I'll meet you guys at your apartment. See if I can help you figure it out."_

"Thanks Lanie." Castle hung up the phone, and nearly dropped it into his lap his hands were shaking so bad. Lanie was probably right. She had probably just slept through her alarm. But he couldn't help being overly worried about Beckett. What if she was hurt or sick and couldn't reach her phone? Or what if she'd been attacked? What if she was dead? He picked the phone back up and quickly touched the number two, speed dialing her cell. It just rang. And rang. And rang. And rang. Surely she was dead. If it were anything else she would've made it to the phone by now.

The terror must have been obvious on his face because Ryan spoke up quickly.

"Castle man take it easy. She's probably fine. Let's just see what we find. We're no good to her if we panic."

It didn't comfort Castle much but it did stop him shaking enough to be able to slide his phone back into place.

When they reached Beckett's apartment building Lanie was already waiting outside, following protocol that she wait for the guys with the guns to go first. But there was no telling her or Castle to wait outside while Ryan and Esposito searched the apartment.

It was empty. No one was there, not even Beckett, and yet there was no sign of disturbance or anything wrong or out of place. They had thoroughly cleared every room, ending up in her bedroom, and come up with absolutely nothing. Not a single clue to Beckett's whereabouts.

"Maybe she just had to get out of town," Ryan suggested.

"No." Castle shook his head. "She would have told someone first."

Ryan shrugged as though he hadn't even believed himself.

"Besides," Castle continued. "I don't think she even made it home last night."

"How can you tell?" Esposito asked.

"Nothing's out of place."

"Yeah but Beckett's a control freak," Esposito explained. "She has to have everything neat and in its place."

"Yeah but look." Castle pulled out the hamper of dirty laundry. "She was wearing black pants, and a blue turtle neck yesterday. Neither is here. And she wouldn't have done anything else with them unless they were stained, which they weren't."

"The newspaper," exclaimed Ryan. "It was a few feet away so I just figured that it was the neighbor's but I bet it was Beckett's. She never picked it up this morning."

"Let's find out." Esposito's face was grim as he lead the way out of the apartment.

"Are you okay?" Castle asked Lanie, who'd been still and silent since meeting them outside.

"No," she answered honestly. "Kate's missing and if she ends up on my table I don't know what I'll do."

He set his hand on her shoulder for a moment, comforting, before taking off after the detectives. He reached them just as the neighbor opened his door.

"Sir is this your newspaper?" Esposito asked?

"Uhh yeah," the neighbor answered warily.

"NYPD." Esposito showed his badge.

"Do you know who lives next door?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah it's that police lady. Real quiet woman but always nice when I see her. Which isn't very often."

"Have you seen her in the past day?" Esposito asked. "Do you know if she came home last night?"

"Nope," the neighbor answered. "Didn't see her. Not sure if she came home. Although actually, now that I think of it, I didn't hear the noise last night."

"What noise?" Ryan demanded.

"Well it's the creak. Probably some kind of drawer of door or something but for the past few months I've heard it consistently every night she's been home. Pretty late at night I hear it creak open and closed and then I hear it again real early in the morning. I didn't hear the creak at all last night or this morning."

"Thanks," Esposito responded, but Lanie was already running back to Beckett's apartment, so they followed quickly.

"The drawer," Lanie shouted. "She told me her drawer was creaking and she wanted to get it fixed."

"Which drawer?" Esposito asked.

"This one."

They ended up in Beckett's bedroom where Lanie opened up a small drawer in the bedside stand.

"It's where she keeps the necklace and the watch. She always wears it and always takes it off to sleep," Lanie explained. "She did not come home last night."

"Well then where is she?" Castle asked, frustrated.

"What time did she leave the precinct last night?" Esposito asked Castle.

"Uhh it was around eight I think."

"You think?" Esposito growled.

"I had something on my mind!" Castle defended.

"Okay focus," Ryan intervened. "Had she eaten dinner?"

Castle shook his head. "No."

"Yeah but Beckett isn't exactly a consistent eater," Esposito mentioned.

"But she hadn't eaten lunch," Castle insisted. "And the only breakfast she had was the bearclaw I brought her. Beckett doesn't take good care of herself but she wouldn't let herself starve."

"Okay so she would've needed something to eat," Ryan concluded. "Maybe she was going to cook?"

Lanie raised her eyebrows, led them to the kitchen, and opened the fridge. "Plus it was already eight and she was tired."

"Okay point taken," said Ryan. "So order in? Or eat out?"

"Wait!" Lanie exclaimed. "Earlier in the day she asked me to dinner. She cancelled later but maybe she went to the same place for takeout. It's one of her favorites and they don't deliver."

"Where?" Esposito asked gruffly.

Minutes later they were pulling up outside Sila Thai and rushing into the restaurant. Castle approached the woman at the register and held up his phone, showing the picture of Beckett.

"Have you seen this woman?" He asked urgently. "Was she in here yesterday?"

"Detective Beckett?" The young woman asked. "Yes she was in here around eight-thirty last night. She looked very tired and pretty upset. But she ordered her regular food and then left through the shortcut she takes."

"What shortcut?" asked Ryan.

"Back there," the woman pointed through the windows to the left of the restaurant. "She cuts through the back alleys to get to her apartment faster."

"Thank you," Castle shouted back at her as they raced out of the restaurant and into the alley.

They were running so fast they almost missed it. In fact all three men did miss it, and were rounding a corner into another alley when Lanie shouted.

"Stop!"

"What is it?" Ryan asked as they quickly made their way over to where Lanie was bent over the ground.

She looked up at them grimly. "Blood."

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><p>Reviews make my world go round! :)<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

I did warn you. But I am sorry this chapter took so long. I'll try to do better! Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

P.S. Thank you for the reviews. They make my day!

**Disclaimer: Real TV is much kinder to Beckett than I am . . .**

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><p>Candor and Mendacity<p>

CHAPTER 3

There was a lot of blood. And it was all over the alleyway. In spatters all over and even pooling in a couple of places.

Lanie agreed it was a lot of blood. "That could be dangerous," she informed them. "Whoever that belongs to needs medical treatment before they lose too much."

With that information, Castle staggered back away from the scene and slid to the ground several yards away. Time and thoughts blurred as Ryan and Esposito examined the scene with Lanie, and CSU arrived. Eventually- he wasn't sure if it had been hours or just a few minutes- Lanie came over to sit with him.

"Castle?" She asked.

He remained silent, and fixated on the puddles of blood.

"Castle, you okay?"

"Maybe it's not hers," he mused desperately.

Lanie shrugged. "Might not be. Kate's a fighter, whoever attacked her couldn't have done it unscathed. But we won't know for sure until we hear back from the lab. They'll put a rush on the DNA, since it's one of NYPD's own, but it could be a day or two."

"Maybe." Castle tried again. "Maybe she wasn't even here. This could have been anyone. Maybe it happened after she passed through. Maybe she's just visiting relatives and forgot to tell the Captain."

"What relatives?" Lanie frowned. "Look Castle you know I hate this as much as you do. She's my friend. But she was definitely here for whatever went down. That bag of takeout . . ." She nodded at the brown bag, its contents strewn across the ground. "That's the same meal she orders every time she goes to this restaurant."

"Yeah but maybe she just dropped it. Or someone else could have ordered it too."

"Castle."

He slumped over even more than he had been before and stared at the ground, closing his eyes as if that would make it all disappear. The panic was coming now, full blast. Kate was missing. Gone. Taken. Probably bleeding out somewhere dying or being hurt. Or already dead. Chaotic images of her body, covered in blood flashed through his mind, searing into his memory. He saw only red and lost ability to function.

And it was all his fault. He had let her walk away. Sure her words had injured him. But he of all people knew she was fragile. Knew that if he said nothing, she would just give up and walk away, never looking back. But he had said nothing anyways. He had let his anger get the better of him, and now she was probably dead because of him. Or maybe if he had just run after her. Granted her forgiveness and begged her to give him a chance. Maybe then they would've gone out together. Or she would have come home with him. At the very least he would have been with her, protecting her. Maybe it would have been his blood instead of hers. He would have preferred that, preferred anything to this horrid display of red which could mean her death.

He hadn't even noticed Lanie leave him until she came back over and called his name.

"Castle!" She had to shout to get his attention.

"What?" he asked detachedly.

"Castle snap out of it!" She looked down at him from above and glared at him. "You're no help and if you stay like this then Esposito will send you home. Beckett needs you. You've gotta focus or get out of the way."

"What if she's dead?" He asked morosely. "What if she's dying?"

"That's my point," said Lanie exasperatedly. "She could be dying and she needs you to give it your all. And fast. She doesn't need you to mope around like she's already dead."

"But she might _be_ already dead."

"No." Lanie shook her head. "I don't think so. If she was dead they would've left her body. Plus there's this." She held up an empty syringe. "There are traces of Propofol in this. It's a general anesthetic. Usually used in medical procedures. But if they used this it means they wanted her alive."

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><p>When Kate woke, she was surprised to find she was able to move, but then regretted the movement immediately as spikes of pain passed through her head and body. She curled into herself to get through the wave of agony. After a few minutes, she was able to compartmentalize the pain and began to examine her situation. The first thing she noticed was that she couldn't see a thing. It was pitch black, not even a crack of light from a door or window. She moved a hand in front of her face to see if she could make it out – she couldn't- but was distracted by the fact that it was cuffed to her other wrist. She felt the cuffs, and groaned when she realized they were her own. She had always been careful to check that her cuffs were secure and impossible to escape without the key.<p>

From the sharp, cold sting on both of her ankles, Kate knew that she was cuffed there too, but with thicker, wider, and heavier cuffs. She shifted her feet and found by the rattling sound that those cuffs, though connected to each other, were also attached to several feet of chain. Through this movement, she discerned by the agonizing pain in her right ankle that it was sprained at the very least, and most likely broken. There was tightness around her throat. She recalled her attacker's thick, muscled armed wrapped tightly around it, choking the breath out of her. There are certainly bruises on her throat and windpipe.

Another memory of a knife flashing before her, and cutting deep into her forearm. She feels the violated area, which is sore and warm to the touch, but dry and stitched over. Her head too is pounding, and she remembers the pounding it took on her assailants' fists, and the alley's wall, remembers the warm blood dripping into her eyes. Her hands move past a painful bruise on her left cheek to find where that injury must be (on the right side of her head), and she finds stitches there too. Yet they left her ankle untreated and unset. Probably to keep her from trying to get away.

The stitches put fear in her. Obviously they need her alive and in somewhat decent health, which tells her this isn't about ransom or even revenge, it's about information. And the way to get information? Torture. She shivers and realizes that it's not just from fear, but it's actually pretty cold in this room, wherever it is. Not so cold as to cause immediate danger of death like in the freezer with Castle, but enough to make her pretty uncomfortable, and worried about her captors' goals.

The idea of freezing brought her thoughts back again to Castle, and she quickly felt as crappy mentally as she did physically. He would probably never talk to her again, and it was completely her fault. She deserved it. She had betrayed his trust, even when they both knew how they felt about each other. If she just hadn't told him the truth, they probably would've gone home together, maybe even admitted their feeling aloud. But, she realizes, she had known that. In fact that was why she had revealed the truth to him, knowing that he would be angry at her for it.

Better to admit her lies than to admit her fear. Her fear of making herself vulnerable, dependent, of putting her complete love and trust in one man who could so easily take that love and trust, and tear what was left of her heart in half. She'd never been so completely open to another man before, or another person for that matter. Not since . . . not since her mother. Not since the person she had loved most in the world had been taken from her, and her heart ripped into little pieces. Not since the person she had loved second most in the world had betrayed her, left her for the drink for years of his life before coming back to her a stranger and tentative friend, but never again a father. She had trusted Montgomery. She couldn't afford to trust anyone else.

So she had thrown up a barbed wall, and driven away one of her only friends. And run. She'd always known he was too good to be true. It wasn't like she really deserved any of her friends anyways. She always made them do all the work, never reached out. Lanie was always the one to ask her to dinner, Ryan and Esposito always the ones to invite her for a drink.

She was startled out of her thoughts by a freezing, high pressured spray of water, coming from the ceiling above and raining down all over her body. It ended almost abruptly as it had started, and she was left shivering in the dark. By her soaked bare skin, she realized how little clothing she was wearing. Only undergarments. The short but intense spray had soaked those through. She wondered vaguely if the shower had covered the entire room, or just her, and came to be aware of the fact that she had no idea where she was or what kind of room she was in.

So she explored. Very slowly, painfully, and carefully due to her injuries, and she didn't get very far due to the chains which connected her ankles to the wall. Her search didn't reveal much either. The cement floor was cold, damp, and bare, as were the walls. She didn't find any other kind of fixture. Not a light switch or a staircase or a door, or even a flood drain. Nothing she could use.

She felt alone. The immense loneliness was only compounded by the absolute silence, broken only by her soft breaths and the occasional rattle of her chains. Either she was way underground, somewhere completely unpopulated, or the room she was in was soundproof. So screaming wouldn't help her. She tried anyways. In response she heard only her scream, echoing off the walls of her prison. She slumped back into a seated position against the wall and closed her eyes. There was nothing for it but to rest up, give her body a chance to heal.

She was finally drifting off when cold water pounded onto her. Again. Sprayed from the ceiling above and jerking her back into awareness. Sleep deprivation. Great. She guessed the spray would happen every half hour or so, ensuring her constant consciousness. She shivered in the damp cold as the shower ended and curled back into the wall, waiting and trying to prepare for what was to come.

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><p>I would love for more reviews!<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

So again, I have made you wait far too long. Sorry. My second semester of college just started, and I've been having trouble finding the time. I would like to thank you for your wonderful reviews. They keep me going! I'm sorry to say that most of your questions will not be answered in this chapter, though they will in due time. Hold in there! :D

**Disclaimer: I'm pretty sure Caskett would already be together if I was writing the show.**

Candor and Mendacity

CHAPTER FOUR

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><p>The Precinct was chaotic. Cops didn't like it when one of their own was in danger, and often pulled out all the stops to fix the problem. Even Gates hadn't protested, despite the fact that it was homicide unit investigating the capture of one of its own. Unfortunately, there wasn't really much to grow on. At least not until the DNA results came back. They had checked the abandoned syringe for prints but found none. So late afternoon found them Castle, Ryan, Esposito, and a couple of uniforms sitting around the conference room table, pouring through Beckett's case files, hoping for some past grudge to pan out. No luck so far. There had been some files with probable suspects who held grudges against Beckett, but they were all either in prison, or dead. Not to mention, most of them would've just wanted Beckett dead.<p>

None of them had eaten lunch yet, they were too focused on the case, and too upset about Beckett to really care about their growing hunger.

"What about her mother's case?" Esposito suggested.

Ryan nodded. "They've tried to kill her before. What's stopping them now?"

"Yeah," Castle admitted. "But why wait until now? It's been months since the shooting and they've had ample opportunity. Why not strike when she was still recovering and most vulnerable? Plus they didn't just kill her. They abducted her." Castle didn't mention the other reason he knew Beckett was supposed to be safe from her mother's killer as long as she wasn't investigating it. And Castle was sure she wasn't.

Esposito sighed. "Yeah. Still it's worth consideration."

Castle shrugged and they went back to the files.

Evening was setting in when Ryan finally spoke up.

"I've got something."

Castle wasn't the only one to immediately drop his current file and focus all his attentions on the youngest detective.

"Well," Esposito urged.

"Forester Tam. Beckett helped put him away for pandering after an undercover setup she helped run while in vice. He lost his family and his freedom. Guy blamed her for ruining his life, threatened her in court, said he was going to make her pay. He got out on parole two weeks ago."

"You got an address?" Esposito demanded?"

"The Bronx."

"Let's go," Esposito ordered, and they all leapt to their feet.

Castle could swear that half of the twelfth was parked down the street from Tam's apartment building, ready for a takedown. None of them even bothered telling him to wait outside as they ran quietly up the stair to the room number given in the address. Guns drawn, they surrounded the room, and Esposito pounded on the door.

"Forester Tam! Open up! Police!"

There was no response, so Esposito was preparing to kick down the door when it opened to a middle aged man.

"Hands in the air!" Ryan shouted.

Tam did as directed while most of the officers present searched his apartment while Castle, Ryan, and Esposito stayed to question Tam in the hallway.

Five minutes later found them dejectedly leaving the apartment. Tam was crazy. Genuinely, certifiably insane, no doubt about it. There was no way he could have taken Beckett.

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><p>She had been in the room for almost exactly 25 hours -she knew by the showers every half hour- before the dreaming started. Or rather hallucinations or daydreams, since she couldn't actually ever get to sleep despite her many exhausted attempts. But she wasn't crazy. Definitely wasn't crazy. She was just really, incredibly tired- around 40 hours without sleep would do that to anyone. So she was daydreaming. Or lucid dreaming. But not hallucinations, because that would mean she was crazy.<p>

It was only fitting that her mother came to her first. Her mother who had always been with her, lurking in the back of her mind, waiting to jump onto her emotions and crash roughly into her wall, contained inside.

Yet somehow mother was here. Standing above Kate like an angel in white, beautiful as always and smiling down at her. Kate felt the waves of emotion crashing harshly and repeatedly against the wall within her, and wanted to cry. But she didn't cry, after all, her mother was finally with her. Wasn't that what she'd been dreaming of for the last thirteen years? For her mother just to be with her, by her side.

"Mom?" Kate questioned tentatively.

Johanna Beckett's smile widened. "Katie." She held her arms out for her daughter, offering a loving, comforting hug.

And then Kate Beckett did cry. Tears sprang to her eyes immediately and she pulled herself to her feet, ignoring the pain in her injured ankle, not caring. She wouldn't care if she were dying right now, would still push through whatever injury and pain just to reach for her mother, and gain comfort in her arms. At least she would die happy. So she took several quick step towards her mother and then took one last leap in order to close the distance faster. She was halted in midair when the chains pulled painfully on her ankles, and yanked her back to the floor, still several feet away from Johanna. Kate landed roughly on the floor, face down.

"Mother?" Kate looked up at her questioningly.

Johanna smiled sadly and shrugged, shaking her head. Clearly she couldn't help to close the distance. So Kate went to work on the ankle cuffs. First she tried to pick the lock with nothing but her forefinger and nail. It wasn't long before her finger was a bloody mess, and she knew it would be impossible to pick the lock without any tools. She checked her neck. Perhaps her mother's ring- but it's gone. Whoever it is that has her has taken it.

Her already broken heart cracked open with new wounds. She felt a deep chasm open wider, with her inside and no visible way to climb out despite her desperate attempts to claw her way up. Panic gripped her harshly and took hold and she couldn't breathe; she couldn't even move, frozen, certain that by the end of this ordeal she'll have no heart left to hurt.

Anger and desperation took hold. Through blinding sobs, she lifted her legs and banged her ankles against the floor as hard as she could, hoping that sheer force would do the trick. Instead it just hurt. A lot. But she did it again anyways. And again. And again. And again. She kept going until her heard her mother's soothing voice.

"Katie."

She froze and looked up to see that her mother was crying.

Though her sobs stopped, quieter tears sprang to her eyes instead, a mixture of pain overwhelmed by pure sorrow at seeing this image of her mother crying. She glanced away to get the image out of her mind, and saw only then that both of her ankles were bleeding. The already injured right ankle was jutting out at an odd angle, with a white sliver of bone peeking out. Just looking at it made her shudder in pain until she was again distracted by her mother's voice.

"Katie," she called through tears. "You're so beautiful love. I'm so proud of you. You never should have doubted yourself. I told you so," she said with a smile.

At this Kate truly lost it. For this must surely be her mother in truth. No one else would say such a thing in this terrible situation. The cold spray of water o f course interrupted her thoughts, and when the water was gone, so her mother went with it.

Kate sighed.

She is NOT _crazy._

Either way, now she was left alone, lying on the cement floor in the dark, tears streaming down her face, damp, shivering, and trembling with cold and pain.

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><p>So thanks again for reading! And remember to drop me a note! Even if it's to suggest improvements. I always appreciate constructive criticism. :)<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

Well it's been way too long since my last chapter. Sorry! My college life kind of got in the way. Hopefully the next chapter will be faster. Anyways,I hope you enjoy what I've written here. Let me know in a review if it's not too much trouble. They make me write faster! :D

**Disclaimer: If I owned Castle, at least one of their secrets would've been shared in Linchpin. But I'm sure Andrew Marlowe has a much better plan.**

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><p>Candor and Mendacity<p>

CHAPTER FIVE

They had all fallen asleep on the files in the conference room when the door slammed, waking them abruptly and causing Castle to startle so harshly he nearly fell out of his chair. He quickly righted himself and stood with Ryan and Esposito to greet Lanie at the door. She looked grim.

"What is it?" Castle asked nervously.

Lanie sighed. "Bloodwork's in."

Castle sank back into his chair, while both detectives bounced on their toes anxiously, wanting to act, to be doing something useful. Castle knew the feeling.

"And?" Ryan pressed.

Lanie handed him the file. "There were two DNA types. One of them's Beckett's. We're running the other through all the databases."

"A lead." Esposito nodded. "That's good at least."

"Javi." She took his hand, forgetting past conflicts. "Most of it was Beckett's. She's lost a lot of blood. If she goes without medical care-"

Castle interrupted and rose to his feet. "We'll just have to find her soon."

Lanie gave her a look. "You better." And then she left them to it.

"Anything new pop up in the files?" Castle asked.

"Nah." Esposito shook his head. "A few possibilities here and there. But we ruled them all out except . . ." he cut himself off and glanced at Ryan, who quickly took up the sentence.

"Except maybe the 3XK. He's still a possibility since he's holding a grudge against all of us. Except she's not his type, and this isn't his MO. I don't think it's him."

"Still we have to keep considering all possibilities," Esposito continued.

Castle sighed. "Well I guess we'll just have to keep checking the files."

They all went back to their ever-shrinking piles of case files. It wasn't much later when all three had closed off the rest of their files, Ryan being the last of them to finish.

"Nothing," he announced, standing as he flopped the file shut lazily and dejectedly.

Esposito growled in frustration, pounded his fist on the table, stood, and left the room, the door slamming angrily behind him. Castle froze in his seat, and Ryan stood in place uncomfortably. After a moment, the detective chased after his partner, leaving Castle to his own misery.

Ryan found Esposito going at it with the punching bag, giving it a thourough beating.

"Javi?" Ryan stopped several feet away.

Esposito just punched harder, breaking open knuckles- he should have been wearing some kind of protection, but Ryan knew better than to say anything about that. Instead he went around his fuming partner, and held the bag steady for him while he raged. They remained silent, and a mixed sound of grunts and whacks to the bag reverberated across the room.

Finally, Esposito's energized anger dissipated, turning into a calmer despair, and he backed away from the bag and slid down against the wall. Ryan fetched a clean, wet rag and a first aid kit before kneeling next to him. He said nothing while he cleaned the blood off of his friend's knuckles.

"How do you do it?" Esposito asked. "How can you stay so calm when Beckett could be . . ."

Ryan looked up at him. "Jenny helps. You should have seen me on the phone with her this morning. I was an absolute mess man. She helped calm me down and talk me through it."

They sat in silence as Ryan disinfected and bandaged Esposito's knuckles, mutually agreeing without speaking that they would never bring up this short conversation again.

Upon returning to the squad room, they found Castle slumped over in his chair beside Beckett's desk, gazing morosely at her empty one. A phone rang out and Ryan picked it up while Esposito just watched Castle, staring as the writer fumbled around sadly with one of the elephants which Beckett had been keeping on her desk for a while now. Esposito wondered about their meaning. Wondered where she had gotten them. Perhaps now he would never know, since chances of finding her alive this long after her abduction were growing slimmer and slimmer by every hour that passed, by every hour in which they found nothing of value or importance, nothing to help them find her. Esposito didn't notice Ryan hang up until he heard the younger man's voice right up next to his ear, speaking quickly and quietly.

"Castle," he snapped after Ryan had finished talking. "We've got a DNA match."

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><p>When the next hallucination- vision, dream, whatever- came, Kate was seated against the cold, cement wall, knees bent to her chest with her head resting on them, and her arms wrapped around them. She supposed she probably shouldn't be surprised by his presence in her prison, considering how she feels about him, but she was nonetheless.<p>

He was sitting against the wall to her left, legs straight out in front of him. Not for the first time she wondered how she could even see these hallucinations in the pitch black darkness of the room, but the again, she realized, they were hallucinations.

Richard Castle was uncharacteristically quiet. Though maybe that was because he was merely a piece of herself right now, and she's never been the most talkative of people. She didn't know that she really even wanted to talk to him anyways, for while she did need to have a talk with Richard Castle, this was only a vision, and she certainly didn't want to have the needed conversation twice. Of course, on the other hand, at this rate she was going to die of dehydration long before she would get the chance to talk with Castle. The last time she'd had anything to drink was at the precinct almost two days ago. It had been even longer since sleep or food. Her stomach hurt so badly that it was only superseded by her constant headache and the continuing agony of her broken ankle.

"You lied to me."

Kate's head swung up upon hearing his voice.

"I waited for you and you lied to me anyways."

"I-" Kate began, some random excuse on the tip of her tongue before her own mind's projection of Richard Castle interrupted her.

"I put my life on the line for you, case after case, and you still lied to me. It could be me here instead of you, me here dying in your place because you're so much of a coward that you would put me in danger without even telling me the truth."

Kate felt tears dampen her cheeks and said nothing.

"Are you so much of a coward that you would lie to me, keep me away because you know I'll leave you? Like Will did? Yet you let me stay close enough that you'll probably get me killed, you'll lose me anyways. Like your mom. And Montgomery. And then you'll truly be alone, because you don't let any of the rest of them close enough to see you, not really, not even your father."

The silent tears were streaming now, and she didn't even react when the semi-hourly shower poured harshly down over the two of them, the cop and her hallucination.

"And then Alexis will be fatherless and alone, just as you are motherless and alone. And it will be your fault. It will be your fault as if you had stuck the knife in yourself, just like the man who murdered your mother."

And suddenly he was gone, leaving her alone in her quiet yet ample tears. The psychological pain she had just inflicted on herself rendered the physical pain irrelevant, so she pounded her mangled ankle on the ground, hoping the physical agony would return to its reign over that which was in her mind. No such luck. Instead it just added to her overall discomfort.

He was right of course. Or rather, she was right. Whoever. She was going to get him killed. She didn't have to let him follow her, yet she did anyways for her own selfish desires, and put him on danger on almost a daily basis. Always so selfish she was. It was time to put her own wishes behind her. What was she thinking? He actually had family. A mother and a daughter. She was taking him away from the people who really mattered to him, and all for her own narcissistic pleasures. If she got out of here alive, she knew she would have to make it stop, make him see what a danger she was to him. If he stayed close, he would surely share them same fate as all those before him. With that resolution she was able to relax against the wall, laying her head back on it, and wait for the next punishment.

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><p>Well I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and leave a review to let me know how I did!<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

Candor and Mendacity

Again I am sorry for the wait. College has been really crazy lately and I haven't had many chances to write. But! A reward for your patience. This chapter will finally reveal some of the answers of this story. :) Anyways, I hope you enjoy it, a plead leave me a note to let me know if you did, or if there's anything I can improve upon.

**Disclaimer: If I was writing the show, then why am I still going to college?**

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><p>CHAPTER SIX<p>

"Franco Medina. He's got a wife and teenage kid."

Castle's head and eyes moved up slowly to face Esposito. "It was his blood in the alley?"

Esposito nodded.

"And get this," Ryan interjected. "Guy's got a rap sheet as long as his life. Assault, larceny, drugs, laundering. Probably in one of the gangs in his area. He's spent more of his life behind bars than free."

"What's a lowlife gang drug dealer doing kidnapping detectives?"

Ryan shrugged. "No idea."

"But let's call a judge." Esposito acted quickly. "Get a warrant."

He picked up a phone, but Castle stayed his hand, whipping out his cell. "Let me. Markaway and I are golf buddies. He'll get us one quickly. Fax it over."

* * *

><p>She wasn't sure who she expected. Roy maybe. Or Mike Royce. But she most certainly wasn't expecting a return visit from her mother. Yet here she was. Sitting cross-legged about a foot in front of her. If Kate had any energy left, she would have been able to touch Johanna's specter simply by lifting her arms and reaching out. As it was, the weakness caused by dehydration prevented much of any movement. Too late she had realized, in a moment of "duh," that all she had to do was squeeze the water soaked in her remained clothing into her mouth. By that time, any such attempts had been vastly unsuccessful.<p>

So instead her hand was left crawling slowly along the floor, reaching for her mother's gently touch. Kate's face lay cheek down on the cold cement floor, and she could see only her mother's legs, but she could hear her mother begin to sing a lullaby she had sung often to Kate as a child.

As the lullaby was drawing to a close, so Kate's hand was closing the distance to Johanna's. Abruptly the lullaby stopped before it had ended.

"Mom?" Kate croaked questioningly, using the last of her energy to lift her head. Johanna had moved, and was now standing several feet away, staring darkly at her daughter.

"I'm so disappointed in you Katherine." Her voice rang out loud and cold, angry.

"Mom?" Kate asked again.

"You failed me. It's been thirteen years, and you still don't know who it was that murdered me. Who it was that paid that killer to stick his knife in me again and again. I was counting on you, and you brought me no justice."

Kate had no more tears left, so she sat aghast in silence.

Her mother took a step closer, but still not close enough. "Instead you shot the man who could have told you, you failed to protect others with information, and you let Captain Montgomery die for you. Why do you hate me so much? Do you not want to find my killer?"

Johanna's devastating tirade was interrupted by the shower, which smelled and felt weird as it pounded onto Kate, and into her eyes. She felt herself drifting off, and the last thing she saw was her mother, eyes full of hate.

* * *

><p>She woke to a barrage of assaults and agonies on her senses, yelping. Her skin burned painfully, overheated to quickly. Water filled her nose and mouth and she coughed and spluttered, and her eyes opened to water and a light so bright, so intense, that she closed them before she was able to take note of her surroundings. All she knew was that she was in a bathtub, full with scorching, burning water. She breathed loudly, gasping in pain.<p>

Not a minute after her brusque awakening, she felt herself dragged out of the tub by her now uncuffed arms. She was dragged several feet until she hit a wall, her head bumping it lightly. A second pair of hands hoisted her upright, and her arms were pulled above her head and recuffed, obviously hanging from something.

The hands released her and her entire body dropped, her arms and shoulder straining painfully to bear her weight, and her legs bending on the floor behind her, only the tops of her feet touching the ground.

"Open your eyes bitch," said one of her captors.

She kept them closed, aware of the burning pain that the light would bring to her eyes, which had become so accustomed to the pitch black of her prison. A slap to her face. She blinked her eyes open cautiously before squeezing them shut again at the intense burning. Another slap. She opened them again, more cautiously, keeping them to the smallest squint. Through the small slit below her eyelids, she came face to face with a stout grinning man. White and brunette. Behind him were two more men, both Hispanic, one huge, and the other smaller and much younger. A teen probably. Maybe underage.

"Look at me!" Another slap.

She gave the man in question her attention. "What do you want?" She asked quietly.

The man laughed. "Don't play dumb with me Detective. I think we both know what you are going to tell me."

Kate's mind worked as quickly as it could in its current condition to figure out what he meant, but it felt like swimming through mud. She was so tired, so hungry, and so damned thirsty.

"Water," she pleaded.

The teenager moved immediately, looking timid, but was soon stayed by the huge man's arm.

"Please," she begged. "I c-can't t . . . talk." Her voice came out as a barely audible whisper.

The leader nodded, and the kid went to fetch a Dixie cup, filling it with water in the sink. The boy approached her slowly, apparently frightened of her, and gently tipped the cup to her mouth, letting the water slowly trickle in. It wasn't much but it tasted like heaven, soothing and cool as it slid down her parched throat.

Finally, feeling slightly better, she took a moment to look around, taking in her surroundings. She was hanging in the shower of a large bathroom, brightly lit and rather expensive looking, like one you would find in a wealthy family's home, not an apartment in the city.

"Now talk bitch."

Her attention was jerked back to the man directly in front of her. Kate was at a loss for words, and all she really wanted to do was sleep.

"I-I honestly don't know what you want. I'm not working any cases right now."

Her interrogator turned red with anger. "Liar," he growled. "We know you've been investigating your mother's death.

Kate's heart sank. Of course. She lifted her head to glare him in the eyes.

"I haven't touched my mother's case since I was shot," she hissed, glancing pointedly at the perfectly circular wound between her breasts. "And even if I had, I would never tell you about it."

He backhanded her across the cheek, and her whole body swung with the motion.

He started again. "We know that information regarding Johanna Beckett's death was sent to your writer friend. We know you've been investigating with his help. He's been asking questions for you."

This was all new information, and it struck Kate like a freight train. Her mind reeled with it. Castle was investigating her mother's murder? And he had new information? Information which he hadn't shared with her. Rage shook her, and suddenly her tear ducts were no longer dried of tears, but her reaction to this discovery was cut short by yet another slap to the face. She could feel a nasty bruise coming on.

"Tell me everything you've found out or this will become very difficult for you."

Kate snorted. "Right because it's been so nice and comfortable until now."

The man gave her a look and nodded his head to his muscle, who promptly left the room. Kate berated herself. Things were about to become even more painful.

They waited in silence, so she decided it couldn't hurt.

"Who hired you?" She demanded. "Tell me who killed my mother."

The boss only laughed as the goon returned carrying a long metal rod, and Kate winced in advance. Her head tormentor moved out of the way, thrusting the nervous looking teenager to the side of the bathroom, and making room for the man with the big stick.

"Tell us when you feel like talking," said the leader as the other positioned himself behind her and out of sight. "You can make this all go away."

And then there was pain. Her dizziness, exhaustion, and muddled mind- probably effects of dehydration and no sleep- had kept her mind off of all pains but her ever-throbbing ankle, but with this new attack, everything returned full force. There was a brief pause after the first hit. Perhaps they thought she would break easily, considering the torment she had already endured.

Even if she had the information they wanted, she'd have no intention of sharing it with them. The second hit connected roughly with her upper back, and she saw the kid flinch when it made a painfully loud crack. Her own lips release a grunt of pain. Her cries only grew less contained as the beating wore on.

Her mind drifted to Castle, ignoring his recently discovered betrayal for the time being, remembering instead the kiss they had shared the night of her capture. She hoped he could forgive her lie. She hoped she could forgive his.

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><p>As soon as the warrant arrive, the boys took off, with several uniforms in tow. They sped the entire way to Medina's address, sirens and all. Medina lived in a rather sketchy apartment building, and it took much longer to clear his floor than Castle would have liked. Finally they surrounded his door, guns and vests ready. Esposito pounded on the door.<p>

"Police! Open up! We have a warrant!"

There was no response, and Esposito was getting ready to kick the door in when it was abruptly opened, and they were met by a hispanic woman in her late thirties.

"Mrs. Medina?" Ryan asked.

"Yes?"

"Is your husband home?"

She shook her head. "No. I haven't seen him or Marcos- my son- for three days now. Do you know where they are?"

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><p>Please review to let me know what you think. Constructive criticism is welcome!<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

Well the wait wasn't as long as last time right? ) Thanks for all your reviews! They really encourage me to keep writing! Anyways, things still aren't going great for Detective Beckett, but the boys are making progress this chapter! Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: Why would I write episodes which cause my emotional death? (47 Seconds)**

Candor and Mendacity

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><p>CHAPTER 7<p>

Esposito and Castle sat down to talk to Mrs. Medina while Ryan led several uniforms in searching the apartment.

"Mrs. Medina," Esposito began. "You said that you hadn't seen your husband in how long?"

"Three days," the small woman offered. "Not since Monday. Normally I'd assume he's just doing something stupid like usual but my son's gone too. He missed school all week!"

"Monday," Castle mouthed to Esposito. "Beckett went missing on Tuesday."

Esposito nodded. "And you have no idea where they are or what they're doing?"

She shook her head. "Franco never tells me about his work. But he agreed to keep Marcos out of it. I swear if he gets him into trouble . . ."

"Ma'am," Esposito interrupted. "If you can help us find your husband, we'll do our best to keep your son safe. Now can you tell me what your husband does for his work?"

The woman shrugged. "It's like I said. He doesn't tell me about his work, and I don't ask. All I know is he usually hangs out with the same group of guys. Bad news all of them."

Esposito sighed. "So anything been different lately? Was he hanging out with someone new? Receiving phone calls that were out of the ordinary? From strangers or suspicious people?"

"Now that you mention it, I think . . ." she paused, and Castle leaned forward. "I answer his phone sometimes, and last week there was some new guy asking for him, not one of the normal guys, and I'm pretty sure he'd never talked to me or Franco before."

"What was his name?" Castle demanded quickly.

Mrs. Medina shrugged. "He didn't say. Just asked to speak with Franco, and I asked for nothing more."

"Can you tell me when he called?"

She hesitated. "Yes. I remember because I was in the middle of making dinner, and I always start dinner at six. I'm pretty sure it was last Thursday around 6:15."

"What's the number you were using?" Esposito asked quickly.

She gave him the number, and Esposito called his partner over.

"Ryan," he said. "Get the records for this number. We're looking for an anomaly a little past six pm last Thursday."

Ryan nodded and pulled out his phone, leaving to make the call.

"Thank you Mrs. Medina." Esposito and Castle stood, and he held out his card. "If you think of anything else, please call me right away."

She nodded and led them out of the apartment.

"Please keep my Marcos safe!"

* * *

><p>When she begged for water, the beating stopped. Unfortunately, it wasn't stopped for the purpose of hydrating her dry throat. She had no idea what time it was. Even with the timely showers in her previous dark prison, she had lost track long ago. It felt like she had been here for a week, though for all she knew, it could only be a day.<p>

Of course she also wasn't sure how much longer they could torture her for before they were tired and wanted to sleep. So when they left her alone with the teen, she hoped faintly for a reprieve, having no idea what to really expect. She weakly glanced up at the boy, and, upon her glance, he stumbled a few steps back nervously.

Kate chuckled dryly. "You honestly think I could hurt you even if I wanted to right now?"

The kid shrugged and looked at his feet, and Kate understood.

"You're afraid they're gonna hurt you if you don't do as they say."

His gaze moved from the floor to the door of the bathroom, to Kate, and then back to the tiled floor.

Kate shrugged. Or would have if she'd been capable.

"Just do as they say. It can't get much worse for me." She glanced down at the scar so near her heart. "Well . . . not too much worse."

And suddenly the other men were back, and the leader was standing in front of her, hand reaching out to touch the scar. His fingers were cold against her bare skin as they traced a circle, and she shivered violently. She watched as he pulled out her necklace, the one with her mother's ring.

"Give that back," she growled.

"Your mother's, wasn't it?" He ignored her completely, and held the ring up to her chest. It was almost perfect in diameter to the scar.

"That's ironic," he chuckled. "Did it hurt?"

Kate snorted. "Why do you ask? Was it one of your friends who gave it to me? Tell me his name."

He ignored her again, pulling the necklace away from her. "It's a nice ring. Perhaps I'll make myself a few bucks. Sell it."

"No!" She tried to lunge for it, but with her arms above her, it came to no avail, and she simply swung around from the momentum. "Please," she begged raggedly.

Her captor laughed and slipped the chain into his pocket. Then he stepped aside to reveal his partner, who was carrying a car battery, a small control box, and a bronze-tipped prod. Terrifying thoughts filled her mind, but she was quickly startled out of them by a freezing spray of water from the shower above, which was turned off as soon as she was suitably soaked.

The brute man set the battery and control box down. He handed off the prod and turned a dial. The prod crackled with electricity and the man holding it on the insulated end grinned. He gave her a wink before jabbing it roughly at her, striking her scar. Her body writhed involuntarily as the excruciation consumed her. Tears leaked from her eyes and she knew she was in for the long haul.

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><p>They were all sitting impatiently at the precinct when the phone records finally arrived. It didn't take long to spot the called Mrs. Medina had mentioned, and they immediately ran and traced the number, and ordered the phone records for it.<p>

The number belonged to a Lee Stevens, a former member of the army who currently lived alone in an apartment. His phone's location was traced to said apartment, and they departed for it before the phone records arrived. They didn't bother taking the time to ask the super for a key, and instead kicked the door down, clearing the apartment quickly. It was in the main bedchamber that Castle froze, staring down at the desk.

"Guys," he called franticly. "You should see this."

Ryan and Esposito dropped their own searches and made their way over to where Castle was standing.

"Well we know he's involved."

The desk was covered in pictures and information of Kate Beckett, with schedules and lists and photos of her in her daily routine. Castle noted several shots of her walking through the alley where she'd been taken.

"We'd better get CSU in here."

Unfortunately, CSU found nothing relevant beyond what had been already found on the desk. There was no trace of Beckett, and it was clear that Stevens hadn't been in his apartment in days.

Ryan sighed. "Hopefully the phone records will give us something new. Meanwhile, we send units to interview friends, family, and employees, and we scour over everything. Financials, employment, anything that could possibly lead us to Beckett."

Lee Stevens' phone records did show something. Two calls from a new number. The first call was only a little over a minute long, while the second, days later, was nearly half an hour. Clearly suspicious. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a throwaway phone, and a quick trace revealed it had probably been destroyed. Back to square one, they settled down with all the possible files detailing the lives of Lee Stevens, and Franco and Marcos Medina.

* * *

><p>She lost consciousness at least three times during the torture, each time only to be shocked roughly awake. She was not entirely sure how long it lasted. It felt like days, and despite the small cup of water she'd received earlier, the all-encompassing thirst had returned with a vengeance. Sharp hunger pains made themselves known in her stomach, her ankle throbbed relentlessly, and her eyes stung from being so long open and exposed to bright light.<p>

Suddenly, she felt the electrifying prod strike her broken ankle and she screamed, squeezing her eyes shut. Her tormentor's laugh cut coldly through her scream, but she breathed a sigh of relief when the prod was removed from her ankle. He stepped back from her.

"Still have nothing to say, detective?"

Kate didn't even have the energy to shake her head.

The man shrugged indifferently. "We'd continue but we're getting tired. Until tomorrow."

And all three men turned to leave.

"Wait," she called. "Aren't you gonna let me down?"

He turned and grinned at her before leaving the room, lights on. Kate sighed. She was beginning to lose feeling in her arms. And somehow despite her supreme exhaustion, she doubted whatever sleep she got would be peaceful. She wasn't sure she wanted to sleep with the nightmares she was sure to have. In the end, she had to lie to herself otherwise before she could even close her eyes, but soon fatigue took over, and she drifted off.

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><p>Thank you for reading! And please drop me a line, it makes all the difference and it always brightens my day to get a ff review. :D<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

Candor and Mendacity

Well I must apologize for the crazy delay with this chapter. My life kind of went crazy for a while their. With my classes and finals and papers, and some other personal issues. But I'm back now, and to make up for it, I will be posting another chapter within the next day or two.

**Disclaimer: If I owned Castle, then I certainly wouldn't be wasting my time with finals and papers.**

* * *

><p>CHAPTER 8<p>

Kate felt surprisingly rejuvenated by sleep when she woke to a hesitatingly gentle tap to her shoulder. She blinked several times through the light to focus on the teenage boy standing in front of her. He was holding a cup. She breathed a sigh of relief upon determining that they were alone in the room.

"Water?" He held out the cup.

She nodded her assent and drank two Dixie cups full before she could take no more.

"Do you want to use the toilet?" he asked nervously.

She began to nod before hesitating. "What about the others? I don't think-"

"They went out," he said quickly.

He moved to lift her over the bar from which she was hanging, and half-helped and half-dragged her to the toilet, releasing her when she was seated.

"Do you need help?" he asked shyly, his face going red.

"No," she answered, and he abruptly turned from her and walked several steps away.

"What's your name?" she asked.

He fidgeted. "Marcos."

"Marcos," she mused. "Can I ask what you're doing here? Kidnapping and torture don't seem to be your forte."

He shrugged. "It's not. My dad wanted to get me involved in his work. He thinks I need to learn from him and man up."

"And you agree with what they're doing to me?"

He gazed at his feet.

"You can help me you know. Once they realize I have nothing, these men you're with are going to kill me. Eventually, my friends are going to find my body, and they're going to find the people responsible. Even if you're a minor, you'll go to prison for a very long time, maybe for life."

She finished and pulled up her underwear.

"But if you help me escape, and I survive, I promise to protect you."

He spun and stared her in the eyes.

"Please," she begged. "I don't want to die."

Marcos melted in front of her, pulled a key from his pocket, and unlocked the cuffs from around her wrists.

"Thank you," she breathed.

"What do I tell them?" he asked. "They'll kill me if they find out I helped you."

She thought a moment. "How do you feel about pain? You can tell them I overpowered you, stole the key, but to convince them you're going to need a bruise."

He shrugged. "I get into a lot of fights."

She nodded and held out her hand. "Give me the key."

He dropped it into her hand, and she quickly punched him where it would leave a nice bruise without doing too much damage.

"Ow!"

"Sorry. Okay, help me up. Will you help me to the door of the house?"

He nodded and lifted her to her feet, half carrying her through the grandiose house until they reached the door.

"Thank you. When I send my people back, I'll make sure they keep you safe."

"Will I go to jail?"

She shrugged. "I can't make any promises but-"

"But what?"

"If you're willing to tell me everything. Give up the others as well as the people who hired you, the DA will make you a deal."

He nodded. "I promise I'll tell you everything."

Kate smiled. "Thank you. Now go. Lay down in the bathroom. Pretend I knocked you out."

As soon as he was out of sight, Kate opened the door and left the house. She couldn't really walk, so she fell to her knees and began to crawl as fast as she could across the yard. Her earlier assumption about the house she's been kept in has been correct. The house was grand, as were all the nearby ones. She was in a wealthy neighborhood somewhere outside the city. She didn't have much of a plan, but hoped to make it to another house and borrow another phone. Of course the yards between houses were huge as well.

As hard as she was trying, in her condition it was slow-going. It felt like forever by the time she reached the nearest house, and she was exhausted. She pounded on the door. No answer. She pounded again with more fervor, and waited several minutes with still no answer. She collapsed against the door. She had no tools to pick the lock, no strength to break down the door, and no energy left to move anywhere further.

Her gaze drifted both ways down the street, hoping for someone to help, and rested on a street corner past her recent prison. A black van turned the corner, and she knew it was them. Adrenaline rushed into her, and she found the strength not only to stand but also to start on a sort of fast limping-hop across the yard away from the van, going as fast as she could in hopes that she would reach another house before they caught her. She wasn't fast enough. Her ankle was so mangled that she couldn't really run even with the adrenaline, and she soon felt them closing in on her.

Two hands shoved her from behind, and her already precarious balance collapsed. She fell and rolled. Her head hit a rock, and she was soon consumed by darkness.

* * *

><p>"Detective Esposito!" The uniformed officer approached the trio of men who were sitting forlornly around Ryan and Esposito's desks, studying files.<p>

"What's up?" Esposito asked as all three stood abruptly.

"Dispatch got a caller that I think you'll wanna talk to. Line 3."

The Detective scrambled to pick up his phone, pressing for the proper line.

"Yea?"

"_Is this Detective Esposito?"_

"Yeah. Whaddya got?"

"_We got a caller who saw a woman matching Detective Beckett's description."_

"Put him on."

"_His name's John,"_ was the dispatch officers' farewell before connecting him to the caller.

"_Hello?"_ Came a new, younger voice.

Esposito guessed its owner to be in his childhood- maybe eight or nine. "Hello, John? I'm Detective Esposito. Can you tell me exactly what you saw?"

The boy responded with more fervor. _"Yes! I was sitting by the window looking out when a woman came out of our neighbors' house. She fell down right away and started crawling. She crawled all the way to our other neighbors' house. She knocked on their door but they weren't home so she sat down for a while until neighbors from the first house came back. She started running away but they caught her and took her back to their house."_

Esposito held his breath. "Can you describe the woman John?"

"_She was tall and had brown hair. And she wasn't wearing very much clothes. Just her underwear."_

"What color was her skin?

"_White, but she was really dirty."_

"Okay John. Can you tell me your neighbors' address?"

"_I don't know their address."_

"John are your parents home?"

"_No."_

Esposito frowned, but moved on. "Okay John. Do you know your address?"

"_246-"_

"John I need you to look at your neighbors' house, and find their number. It should be almost the same as yours."

The boy was silent a moment before he shouted excitedly, "_24638!"_

"That's great John! Can you tell me the rest of your address?

The boy repeated it proudly.

"Thank you, John. You did the right thing calling us. Now I need you to hang up, and stay inside for the rest of the day."

The boy hung up, and Esposito turned to Ryan and Castle. "I've got an address. Let's get some Unis and go."

* * *

><p>Kate woke to no air, and water filling her lungs. She opened her eyes to see what was going on, but was met with darkness and more water. She squeezed them shut quickly. There was something covering her face, and it was soaked through, constantly leaking water into her mouth and nose. Her body convulsed desperately for oxygen, but she was restrained tightly. She was drowning. The burning in her lungs and the terror in her mind recalled back to being trapped in her seat in her sinking Crown Vic, Castle searching for her gun. But this time she was really alone, and when she felt the blackness begin to crowd her, she was sure that they were really killing her.<p>

No such luck. The soaked material was removed from her head, and a fist pounded her chest, causing her to cough up some of the water that had been forced down her throat. Waterboarding. She should have known they weren't just going to give up and kill her. Pain radiated through her body, and she felt tears drip from her eyes and slide down her already wet cheeks. As the air slowly returned to her lungs through gasping breaths, Kate was able to observe that she was tied to a tall reclining chair, and still in the shower stall. That must've been where the water had come from.

Her chief tormentor stepped forward to stand over her. "Are you going to talk now, Detective? Save yourself some pain?"

Kate was aware of every small pain in her body (and they were quite numerous), and wanted badly to tell them that she really did know nothing. That Castle had never told her that he held new information. But she refrained. For if they believed her they would simply kill her, and take Castle and torture him. And no matter how angry she was with him, she couldn't have that. She thought up a lie instead.

"Everything in that packet was information I already knew. There was nothing more."

"Then why send it?"

"I don't know. I didn't send it."

"I don't believe you."

And a dry towel was placed over her face. She struggled to get it off, but the Muscle held her down.

"Maybe this will help loosen your tongue," said the leader as she heard the shower squeak on, and a cold spray of water hit her body and began soaking the towel, already restraining her breath.

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><p>Well I always love a review. Let me know what you think! :)<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

Well I know I promised to have this up a couple of day ago, but this time I have a really good excuse. There was a humongous cockroach in my dorm room (eww), and we couldn't get it out. It's still in here somewhere in fact. :( So we fled to a friend's dorm for a night, leaving my notebook with all my writing back in my dorm, so I was unable to type it up. But here it is now. Sorry for the delay!

**Disclaimer: Yeah . . . they would be together by now.**

Candor and Mendacity

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><p>CHAPTER 9<p>

They turned off their sirens several miles from the address. The precinct had been mostly empty when they left, but cops pulled out all the stops for one of their own, and six uniforms -and their cars- had been spared in hopes of retrieving Beckett. Although they were actually going quite fast, Castle felt as if time had come to a standstill, and every second that passed was a second in which Kate could be hurt or killed.

It felt like years had passed by the time Esposito pulled the car to the curb around the corner from their destination. As soon as they were out of the car, Castle rushed to turn the corner, but was stopped by Ryan's hand grabbing his jacket.

"Beckett needs us!" He pulled against Ryan's grasp.

"If we go rushing in without a plan," Ryan explained. "We could get her killed."

Castle sighed but gave in. Ryan was right. He turned and joined the small circle of cops.

"Okay, listen up." Esposito took the lead. "We'll go around behind those houses, and go in through the backdoor so they don't see us coming. It's the seventh house in. Now these houses are huge, so we'll have to split to clear it quickly. You three take the basement, you guys take the main floor, and we'll take the top floor. If you find Detective Beckett, radio the rest of us if you can. Remember this is a rescue mission. Beckett's safety is our priority."

With that, they turned and cut through backyards until they reached the house they were looking for, picking the lock and entering silently, spreading out to their assigned floors.

* * *

><p>This time she blacked out for a few seconds. Or at least that's how long she assumed, since she was actually unconscious at the time. When she'd coughed up enough water to consciously breathe, but not enough to do it very deeply or painlessly, she opened her eyes again.<p>

"Tell us what you know and this can all end."

"Please," she begged, her voice raspy and sobbing. "I swear I really don't know anything. Please just kill me."

She had no misconceptions that she would survive this and, to be honest, she almost preferred not to. Particularly when they were taunting her with death by drowning, only to pull it away at the last second.

Her torturer shook his head. "My employer requires information, and you will give it to him."

"Your employer? Why not tell me who he is? I'm going to die anyways."

He chuckled. "Nice try."

A floorboard creaked from outside the bathroom, but all three men were inside.

"What was that?" asked the muscle.

"Shut up."

Another creak. The guy in charge moved behind her and crouched. She struggled as he reached to place a new towel over her face.

"Franco, get the shower." His voice was muffled. "And get out your gun."

Her struggling resumed strongly as the shower sprayed her body, but she was weak, and her lungs already full of water.

* * *

><p>A light shone out of the cracked door at the other end of the master bedroom. Castle backed out into the hallway and whispered for Ryan and Esposito, who radioed the others, and, not willing to wait, led the charge into the bedroom, and burst into the lighted bathroom, guns drawn. Castle followed behind. Upon entering the bathroom, his eyes were drawn immediately to Kate Beckett, who was half-naked, soaked, and tied to a chair with a towel over her head. Castle's heart hurt as he came to the realization that she was being waterboarded, her body flailing desperately for a breath, but to no avail.<p>

"Kate!" he cried, as Ryan quickly shushed him and held him back.

There was a man crouched behind Kate, one hand holding her head still as it convulsed for air, the other holding a knife at her throat. Another, larger man was standing just outside the shower, pointing a gun in their general direction, and the last man- boy really- was standing all the way in the corner, weaponless.

"Put your weapons down," Esposito ordered.

The man behind Kate retorted quickly, "You put your guns down and maybe I won't kill her."

Esposito called his bluff, firing at the man with the gun, and hitting him in the shoulder. He fell, dropping his gun in the process. The boy in the corner let out a yell, while the man behind Kate, didn't even flinch. Castle returned his attention back to Kate. Her convulsions had stopped, and she wasn't moving. In fact he didn't think she was breathing. He nudged Ryan.

"Beckett." He directed the younger man's attention.

Ryan noticed his boss' lack of breath, and turned his gun to point at the teen.

"You. Turn off the water. Quickly."

The young man nodded and stumbled into the shower, turning the dial until the water stopped.

"Now go sit in the corner."

The boy did as told, and one of the uniforms went to cuff him. This left just the man behind Kate, who Castle guessed to be Lee Stevens, to deal with. All their attentions –and guns- were focused on him.

"Get away from her or we'll shoot you," Esposito ordered.

"All of you stand against the wall, and I'll revive her."

The uniforms hesitated, and Esposito nodded to them as they all moved to stand against the far wall of the bathroom. True to his word, Stevens removed the towel from Beckett's face. She still didn't breathe, but despite the bruising on the left side of her face, she looked almost peaceful.

"She's still not breathing," Esposito growled.

Stevens glared, and pounded a fist into Beckett's chest. Castle winced but breathed a sigh of relief when she spluttered awake, spitting up water, eyes wild and frantic. Her greenish-brown orbs quickly landed on him and grew wide.

"C-Castle?" she croaked weakly.

"Shut up," Stevens growled, pressing the knife against her throat.

"Right," he spoke again as he began to cut Beckett's bonds. "You're going to let me out of here or I'll cut her throat. Stand up," he growled at her as he finished cutting the rope binding her hands.

She gave him a dubious glance before sitting up slowly, his knife arm around her neck the entire time. She grasped the sides of her chair, tried to push herself up, and failed. Stevens sighed, grasped her around the middle, and pulled her to her feet, bearing most of her weight. Castle took a step towards them, and her captor gave him a look, moving the knife back to her throat.

Beckett's gaze found Esposito's. "Shoot him!" she called weakly.

Steel bit into her neck.

"Try and shoot me and you'll hit her too. Now let us pass."

Beckett gave Ryan and Esposito and imploring looks, but they both shook their heads and backed away. As Stevens pulled Beckett along through the bathroom, her eyes found Castle, and for all his deducting skills, he didn't know what to make of the look in her eyes. Before he had a chance to discern it, Beckett's captor pulled too fast and she stumbled, moving her gaze to catch her footing.

Soon they were all out of the bathroom, and Stevens had dragged Beckett to the top landing of the stairs. Though her eyes were glazed over, she seemed alert, and in amply pain. Her injured foot caught on the floor momentarily and she squeezed her eyes shut. Castle involuntarily stepped closer and the man tightened his grip.

"Stop."

And then she was looking at him, and Castle knew. Knew she was planning something. Before he could shake his head no, her gaze moved to give Esposito a pointed look, and then she was in action. Her head pulled away from her captor and Castle winced as the blade cut into her neck. Stevens leaned forward to keep his hold on her, but was taken by surprise when her head snapped back to hit his face, and he released her.

Kate fell to her knees, and Stevens raised his knife over her. Several shots blasted out, riddling his body with bullets, and he tumbled down the stairs. Castle raced to Beckett's side and fell to his knees.

"Kate? Kate are you okay?"

Instead of responding she heaved, vomiting all the water that had been forced into her, and the collapsed backwards thankfully into Castle's arms.

"It's about time you showed up," she murmured weakly as her eyes fluttered. "Check- check his pockets. My necklace. And my watch maybe."

Esposito, who had been checking Stevens for a pulse, searched for the missing items and came away victorious, dropping both accessories into his own pockets.

"I got 'em Beckett."

She nodded satisfactorily. "I think I can sleep now."

Her eyes closed.

"Kate?"

He shook her when she didn't respond, and still she stayed unconscious.

"Guys?" He called anxiously. "She needs a bus now! Where's that ambulance?"

* * *

><p>The end! (for now). Don't worry! They may have found her, but there's tons left in this story. Angst and fluff galore! Anyways, let me know what you think of this chapter, or how it can be improved, with a review below. :)<p> 


	10. Chapter 10

Well . . . you have every right to hate me . . . I guess the horribly horrible length of time it took me to post this was caused by a mix of writer's block, apathy, and lack of school classes to write in. Apparently summer makes me lazy, and I cannot possibly apologize enough, but I really am sorry. And if you're still reading this, thank you for your patience and loyalty. I love you all!

Anyways, I won't make you wait any longer, and will do my very best to post another chapter soon. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: Sorry, I'm pretty sure Andrew Marlowe is much more efficient at writing and updating on time. Deadlines and all . . .**

* * *

><p>She woke in the ambulance, but by her dreadful moaning, Castle wished she hadn't. She was on the gurney, with one EMT attending her, and the other navigating the wailing vehicle quickly through traffic. She already had an IV delivering fluids into her, and the attendant was currently inspecting other wounds<p>

"Where-" she cut herself off with a grimace, her face going white when the medic touched the protruding bone fragment on her right ankle.

"Kate?" Castle called from the far wall of the ambulance, wishing he could hold her hand. "Kate you're in an ambulance. We're on our way to the hospital. You're gonna be fine. I'm here, Kate."

"I- I don't know anything," she cried, clearly caught between a nightmare and the waking world. "Please. Please just kill me already."

Tears rolled down Castle's face as he witnessed her terror. The bus drove over a large bump, and Kate's eyes rolled up into her head. Castle prayed that unconsciousness was a relief for her.

"Shit," said the medic, as Kate's body temperature dipped dangerously low.

He turned to scavenge from a drawer, and as he did so, her breathing got even louder and more rapid, and her heart monitor beeped faster.

"Uhh," Castle nudged the EMT as he noticed yet another complication. "Is that normal?"

Her lips were blue. The EMT swore again, and tossed the emergency blanket he had fetched at Castle.

"Hang on to that for a minute," he said as he pulled out a stethoscope, and lay the cold metal flat on Kate's bare chest. "Damn," he said after listening for a moment.

"What?!" Castle asked, panicking.

"Wrap that around her. Tightly."

The medic opened another drawer and pulled out a nasal cannula, which he placed quickly under Kate's nose.

"Step on it!" the EMT called to his partner. I think she's got pleural effusion, but we've gotta get her to a CT first to be sure.

The vehicle sped up, but Castle didn't think it was enough as he looked at Kate's ever paling face and rapidly rising chest. The beeping on her heart monitor got faster and faster.

"Uh," Castle said nervously. "I don't think we can wait."

"How far?" the medic asked his partner.

"Traffic jam."

Kate flatlined.

"Right," the EMT took control. "Do you know CPR?"

Castle nodded, "yes."

"Well get started then," the medic ordered as he pulled out an AED and began charging it.

Castle tilted Kate's head back, pinched her nose, and breathed air into her as deeply as he could. He did it once more before shifting down to start chest compressions, first moving the blanket aside. He'd only gotten to 25 when his hands were pushed aside. The EMT placed paddles on her chest, and held them down as they shocked her heart. Her body jolted and the monitor flickered before flatlining again.

"Kate?" Castle called desperately.

"Again," the man ordered Castle, and he resumed CPR.

As he alternated between breathing for Kate and pumping her heart, Castle watched as the medic pulled out a large syringe and long tubing with a bag on one end. He knelt next to Kate, looking carefully at her bare side, before shouting at Castle to stop. He jammed the syringe into Kate's side, and Castle grimaced in sympathetic pain. He taped the sides of the syringe to Kate's skin to hold it in place before pulling out the back half of the syringe, inserting the tubing into the now open end, and taping those together as well. All this was just in time, as fluids burst out of the syringe and into the tubing.

The AED beeped, and the EMT went to shock her heart again. This time it not only brought her back to life, but also to consciousness. Her eyes were wild and panicked.

"Castle?" she gasped. Though better than before, her breaths were short and rapid. "I can't . . . . can't breathe."

She tried taking a deeper breath, but her face scrunched up in pain and she grasped at her chest, where the paddles still lay in wait. The EMT swiped her hands away. She shivered, and Castle pulled the emergency blanket back up as far as he could without covering her chest.

Kate whimpered.

"Kate? What is it? What hurts?"

"My chest," she whispered breathlessly. "It burns."

Castle frowned deeply. He had seen her chest earlier. It was red and inflamed, with some spots nearly black. The burn was nasty enough that he could just barely make out the scar from her shooting underneath. He imagined that the defibrillation hadn't soothed the burns.

"Please!" he turned to the medic. "Can't you give her anything?"

The younger man shook his head sadly. "Until we know the full extent of her injuries, it's not safe to give her any drugs. There's a salve that will ease her burns, but I can't remove the paddles in case she goes back into cardiac arrest. Once they take care of the more urgent problems at the hospital, they can soothe her pain. I'm sorry."

Kate squeezed her eyes shut in an effort to decrease the throbbing in her head. "Are we . . ." she started weakly. "Are we close?"

Castle grasped her hand, and she squeezed tightly.

"Just two blocks away," the driver called back.

Kate's eyes began to flutter closed before the shot open in a sudden realization.

"Wait! Castle!"

"What? Kate, what is it?"

"The boy," she squeezed his hand. You've got to call Esposito."

"What?" Castle asked, confused.

"He needs to put the boy in a safehouse. He promised to tell me everything. He promised . . ."

"What?"

But she had already faded out, so Castle flipped open his phone and called Esposito.

Ryan answered the phone. "Castle?! How's Beckett?! Is she okay?!"

"We're almost at the hospital," was all Castle could say on the matter. "Where's Esposito?"

"Oh. He's putting one of the perps in lockup."

"Which one?"

"The kid. The other guy took a through and through to the shoulder, and is on his way to the hospital with a couple of uniforms. Why do you ask?"

"Stop!" Ryan shouted.

Castle heard Esposito's response faintly over the line. "Why?"

"Why?" repeated Ryan.

"Because Beckett said . . . she said to put him in the safehouse. Something about him promising to tell her everything?"

Ryan repeated it to Esposito. "Everything about what?"

"I'm not sure," Castle shrugged, forgetting that Ryan couldn't see him. "Well it's possible that-"

"Wait! You don't think it's about . . ."

Castle sighed. "C'mon Ryan. Of course it's about that. What else could it be. And isn't it always?

"I guess it was just wishful thinking. Okay. Espo and I will get a couple of clean guys to get him to safety until Beckett's well enough to talk to him. "

"Give me the phone!" Castle heard Esposito say, and there was a slight jostling before his voice became clear. "Okay, Castle. Spill. You tell me how Beckett is or I swear-"

"She's fine!" Castle cut him off desperately. "I mean she's . . . well she did . . . and she's in . . . they really did a number on her, Espo."

"Is she going to make it?" he asked matter of factly.

"I- I don't know. Listen, I gotta go. We're pulling up to the hospital now."

"Okay, man. You just stay with her. I'll call Lanie, and then we'll all get our asses up there quick as we can. Do you want me to call your family?"

"No. I'll call them later."

Esposito clicked off his phone, and Castle did the same as the back door of the ambulance was swung open, and two doctors rushed to help the EMT pull Kate's gurney to the ground.

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><p>Let me know what you think please! Constructive criticism is perfectly welcome!<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

Well, it wasn't a super fast update, but it was certainly better than the last one, right? Enjoy! :)

**Disclaimer: haha.**

* * *

><p>CHAPTER ELEVEN<p>

Castle convinced the doctors to allow him into the CAT scan room for a scan of Kate's lungs, which she was thankfully asleep for. Afterwards, they threw around words such as pleural effusion, cyanosis, and dehydration as they rushed her out of the CT room and into trauma. Castle was halted at the door. Patients and staff only were allowed through there. He had an all too familiar flashback of being in this same position eight months ago.

He called Lanie first, because that memory reminded him of her. Then he felt like an idiot, and called Jim Beckett, something he should have done days ago. He texted Ryan and Esposito to update them on Kate's condition, and finally, he called his mother, whom he knows will pass the news to Alexis. By the time he was finished with his calls, he was seated in the trauma waiting room, his body is shaking dreadfully.

He needed coffee. When he reached the shop, he found himself putting in his order, as well as one for a grande skim latte with two pumps sugar free vanilla. He drank them both by the time he returned to the waiting room.

Lanie, Alexis, and his mother were already there. Alexis came in for the hug, while Lanie went straight to business, asking after Kate's condition. His daughter felt so good in his arms, and he didn't let go of her the entire time he was informing Lanie.

Jim must have been in his cabin, because it took him over an hour to arrive at the hospital. When he found them in the waiting room, he immediately asked what had happened to Kate. At Kate's prior request, no one had told him she was missing until now. Castle's answers were quickly interrupted by a young doctor, who called for the family of Detective Katherine Beckett.

Kate had been moved into ICU, and the problem with her lungs (filled with water) was mostly stable. They were a little worried about her head (moderate concussion), and even more so about getting fluids and nutrients into her (severe dehydration and moderate malnutrition). They were also dosing her with antibiotics in hopes of halting the oncoming infection. They had applied salve to her burns, re-stitched her cuts, and tightly wrapped her ribs (3 cracked, 2 broken). They had also wrapped her in several heated blankets (mild hypothermia). Finally, she was scheduled for surgery later tonight to reconstruct her fractured ankle.

"Can I see her?" Castle took a step forward.

The doctor hesitated. "Are you family?"

"No but-"

"I am," Jim interrupted. "I'm her father. Please let me see her."

"You can see her, sir. But due to her unstable condition, we can only allow family at this time. We need to keep her calm. I suggest the rest of you go home. We'll let Mr. Beckett know when friends can visit. This way, sir."

Jim followed the doctor, and Lanie sat dejectedly back in her chair. Castle had gone home the last time Kate was in the hospital, and that had ended in months of no contact. He wasn't leaving this time. Alexis; however, had school tomorrow morning.

"Mother, can you take Alexis home please?"

"Dad!"

"Alexis, you have school. I promise I will call you both if anything at all happens."

He felt slight tremors from the caffeine as he sat down next to Lanie and watched his family walk away.

* * *

><p>There was no air. She was drowning. She tried to breathe, and instead found herself convulsing and choking awake. A weight pressed down on her shoulders and she knew she was going to drown to death. Again.<p>

"Katie?!"

Was it normal to dream of your still living father on your deathbed?

"Katie!"

She'd expected her mother's voice.

"Sir, her heart's beating too fast. We need to calm her down immediately." A new, feminine voice.

A loud, frantic beeping filled her ears. She opened her eyes to a nurse leaning over her, pinning her down, and tried to choke out a breath, but there was something in her throat.

"Katie!"

Tears filled her eyes as she struggled for breath and turned her head slowly to find her father sitting next to her, clasping her hand desperately. Spots filled her vision.

"Katie, it's okay. You're okay. You need to calm down."

Her free hand reached up to grab at the thing blocking her air, and the nurse swatted it down.

"Sweetie, the tube is helping you breathe. You need to relax and let it breathe for you. Once you do that, the nurse can get the doctor, and she can see about getting it out of you."

His eyes gazed at hers worriedly. Her hand squeezed his painfully as she focused all her efforts on relaxing and allowing the machine to help her take short, quick breaths. The nurse left the room.

She shifted uncomfortably, and a sharp throbbing came into focus at her ankle through the haze of narcotics. Her eyes watered.

"Oh, Katie. I know it hurts. Just hang on, sweetie. You're fine."

It seemed a lifetime before the doctor, a young blonde woman, entered the room.

"How're her vitals?" she asked the nurse, who had returned with her.

"She seems mostly stable now. She was slightly tachycardic for a bit when she first woke up, and her body temperature is still a little low, but her oxygen levels are nearly there."

"Enough to switch back to a cannula?"

"Yes. I believe so."

"Good. Give me a hand then."

The doctor finally turned to look at Kate.

"Ms. Beckett? We're going to take the tube out now. It's going to be uncomfortable, and you won't be able to breath for a few seconds, but it will feel better once it's out. Feel free to cough to help it come out easier.

The nurse moved back to pin her down again as the doctor reached for the tube in her throat. Kate choked up several painful coughs as it was slowly pulled out. Finally, it was gone, and she let out several ragged breaths as the cannula was placed under her nose. She breathed again in relief. Her throat still hurt, but air was flowing much easier.

"Dad?" she rasped, sitting up slightly, her entire body shifting. Her ankle burned numbly, and upon looking at her offending appendage, saw that it was clearly not set, with loose bandages covering it, and that the numbness was a result of the icepacks piled around the injury.

She felt her father's hand gently in her hair as she pointed a questioning glance at the doctor.

"You're scheduled for reconstructive surgery in one hour. You're ankle there is pretty badly damaged, so we needed to wait for a proper surgeon."

She leaned her head back into the pillow in an attempt to control the pain.

"Where's . . . where're Ryan and Esposito?"

"At the precinct."

"And Castle?"

"He's been in the waiting room the whole time."

"Can I see him?"

The doctor gave her an uncertain look.

"Please? I really need to talk to him."

The doctor eventually gave a reluctant nod. "Fine. But only him, and if there's any sign of him decreasing your stability, we'll kick him out. I'll be back to start prepping you for surgery in about half an hour."

Both doctor and nurse left the room, leaving her alone with her father.

"Katie," he called softly. "What happened?"

She looked at him gravely. "I . . . I- well there were these men . . . they took me to some house and . . . well, you can tell what they did."

"Oh, honey. You're alright now. You're safe. What was it about?"

She gave him a look.

"Katie," he sighed. "You promise to stop investigating. You were going to stop."

"I did stop. It's just that Castle-"

"Castle what?" asked Castle.

"Nothing," she said quickly. "We can talk about it later. Right now we gotta talk about something else. Dad . . ."

"Okay. I'll leave. But I'll be right outside, alright?"

She nodded, but didn't watch him go, instead focusing on Castle. The man seemed somewhat in a state of disrepair, skin pale, and eyes red with dark circles under from exhaustion. He paid no attention to his own physical issues; however, and instead was staring at her, his expression distraught. She could only imagine what he saw. If she looked half as bad as she felt, it was probably something out of a nightmare.

"Kate." He sat hesitantly in the chair beside her bed. "Kate, I'm so sorry. I should never have let you-"

"Stop." She groaned. "Please, Castle. I know we need to talk about us, but I want to do that when we're both well enough to think straight. Please tell me about the boy. Is Marcus safe?"

He nodded. "Ryan and Esposito took him somewhere safe. They left a couple of officers they trust to protect him."

"And the others?"

"Lee Stevens is dead, and Franco Medina is two floors up with a gsw to the shoulder."

"We should get some protection from Medina too. Maybe he'll talk and back up whatever his son tells us."

Castle nodded. "I'll tell Esposito. How are you, Kate? Are you feeling any better?"

She shrugged, and then winced. "I'm fine."

He raised his eyebrow.

"Okay, fine. I feel like a truck hit me, ran me over, and the turned around and came back to do it again and again. Actually, I can't even feel half of my face, and I kind of just want to sleep forever. But besides that I'm perfectly fine. Thanks for asking."

Castle frowned. "Are you mad at me, Beckett?"

"Yes," she nodded. "But mostly I'm just in pain, and pissed at the people who did this to me." She didn't tell him that she was mostly mad at herself. "Please. Let's not have a serious conversation right now. I can hardly think straight."

"Can I at least stay with you?

"Rick-"

"Kate. Please don't make me leave. Not again."

Well that was a guilt trip if there ever was one. Kate sighed. "Fine, Rick. Just . . . I don't want to talk right now."

He nodded, motioning a zip of his lips. "No talking then. I'll just sit here quietly. Do you want me to get your dad?"

"Yes please."

When Castle returned, he was followed by not only her father, but the doctor as well.

"Okay, Ms. Beckett. It's time for your surgery. Now we can't give you any more than a local anesthetic due to your concussion, but I can give you a little more morphine to try and dull the pain some."

She gritted her teeth and nodded. "Can someone come with me? Keep me company?"

The doctor nodded. "Only one, as long as they stay out of the way."

"Katie, I'll-"

"No!" she exclaimed, and he looked put out. "I only mean . . . that's not fair to you, dad. I won't let you see me like that. Castle will you-?"

"Of course."

"Very well then," the doctor worked with several nurses to transfer Kate to a gurney. "Let's go."

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><p>Well? How did I do? Please leave me a note! I will give you virtual cookies! :D<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

Yeah. No excuses this time. I'm a rubbish updater. Anyways, hasn't season 5 been amazing so far?! The premiere killed me!

**Disclaimer: NO.**

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><p>CHAPTER TWELVE<p>

By the time they left ICU for the operating room, Kate was so drugged up on morphine that Castle worried she would say something she'd regret later. She was murmuring something about unicorns and bad wolves by the time the bone surgeon arrived. She seemed pretty out of it, but upon seeing the sharp scalpel in the doctor's hand, Castle insisted on staying and holding her hand. A small screen was placed over Kate so she couldn't see the surgery in process.

As they started in on her ankle, Castle had to turn away, squeezing Kate's hand and watching her face. The drugs must have been doing their job, because she was only slightly flinching.

"I just," she murmured dazedly. "I just wish he would have at least told me."

Castle had no idea who she was talking to, or what she as talking about for that matter.

"I mean," she continued. "It's my case. My_ mother's_ case. If he had new evidence, it was his responsibility to pass it to me."

Castle frowned.

"He had no right to investigate on his own. What if they had taken him instead? Did he even think about that? This is my burden to bear."

Her rambling was interrupted by a soft cry, her own, after which she thankfully passed out. But Castle was already stumbling backwards, his back hitting the wall as he processed what she'd just inadvertently said. It was his fault. His hands were shaking. His investigation had caused all of this. If he hadn't carried on his secret investigation, Kate wouldn't have been taken, and wouldn't have been hurt so badly. Wracked with guilt, he fled the room, ignoring the "Mr. Castle?" flung after him.

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><p>The next time she came to, the haze of drugs was so deep that not only did she feel almost no pain, she still felt weighed down and half asleep. Her eyes opened wearily, and she blinked away the heaviness of her eyelids. The beating of the heart monitor was soft and steady on the edge of her consciousness. When her eyelids finally stayed open, she glanced around the hospital room. Only her father was there, sleeping in a chair. Kate frowned. Where was Castle?<p>

Through the lone window, she watched the sun rise, shivering beneath the pile of blankets. Despite the beauty happening just outside, her thoughts were focused on Castle. She has expected him to be in the room with her when she woke up, but he was clearly nowhere to be found. She wondered why he had left. Before, he'd seemed to have moved past her confession from the night she'd been taken.

It seemed so long ago, though it hadn't yet been four days since. Was it this far in the past for him too? Perhaps it was for the best that he was gone. After all, she wasn't sure how she felt about him right now. Wasn't sure what to think of him, knowing now that he had secretly been investigating her mother's death behind her back. Yes. Yes it was much better that he wasn't here. What could she possibly say to him now? What could she possibly say to another betrayal? And from Castle of all people. Her thoughts started to jumble from all the narcotics. Sighing, she shifted her legs difficultly, one of which, she noticed, was encased in a hard plaster cast, and was tingling slightly through her deadened nerves. She grunted through the effort.

"Katie?" Her father jerked awake rather suddenly.

She smiled at him. "Hey dad."

"How're you feeling sweetheart?"

"Drugged."

He let out a soft laugh and grasped her hand. "They determined that your concussion wasn't going to cause any more damage, and the gave you as many painkillers as they safely could."

"Well I feel as if I could run a marathon."

He gave her a dubious once over and she shrugged. "Well . . . maybe not quite yet."

"The doctor said your surgery went well. With some therapy, you should be back to running around the city in a couple of months."

She sighed. "I hate physical therapy. Hey . . . dad uh . . . um, do you know where Castle went?"

He winked at her and she rolled her eyes. "Dad."

"Actually I did see him. Walked right past me in the middle of your surgery. Seemed upset. I asked what was going on, but all he said was that he was sorry, and that he couldn't stay here."

She frowned. Why had he left in the middle of her surgery? Was it something she had said or done? Kate knew that she hadn't been sedated for the operation, but she couldn't actually remember if she'd even been awake for any of it. She shook her head clear. Again she mused that it was for the better. He would want to talk, would ask questions, and she wasn't near ready to discuss the events before or during her captivity.

"Dad? Can you do me a favor?"

He nodded.

"Can you find Dr. Carter Burke for me? He's the- he's the department psychiatrist. Can you call him and ask him to- I need- I need to talk to him. Can you get-"

His hand settled gently on her shoulder. "Of course, Katie. I'll see if he's able to visit today or tomorrow."

As it turned out, Dr. Burke's afternoon client had backed out -_cops_- so after some more drugs and a nap, she didn't have to wait long to talk to him. She got one of the nurses to raise her bed and help her sit up- the deep bruises from her beating were starting to make themselves known. She'd asked for a smaller dosage of drugs so her head would be on straight for her appointment. As a result, her chest burned painfully, and she clutched at it tightly the same exact moment that Burke came through the door of her hospital room.

"Dr. Burke," she greeted him once she could breathe past the pain.

"Kate. How are you?"

She snorted. "Wonderful."

Burke smiled. "It's to be expected, Kate. You'll heal."

"Yeah but I thought I was done. I was almost there, almost ready to move forward with my life. I feel as if I gave everything to trek through a pool of mud, only to be thrown back across the pond and the mountain behind it. Who was I kidding? I'll never be able to move past it. It's never going to let go of me."

"You can, Kate. You and I both know it. We just have to put in the work. Do you want to tell me about what happened?"

"I - no."

Nodding, he carried on as if she had simply turned down a handful of chips. "Let's talk about Richard Castle. I hear he helped find you and rode with you in the ambulance."

She nodded.

"Where is he now?"

"He left."

"So he was here?"

"He stayed all afternoon and half the night. I asked him to stay during my surgery because it was too dangerous to knock me out, but I'm told he stormed out in the middle of it. I don't know why." Her head turned to look out the window, not really seeing. "I don't know if I said something to him or if he was just tired of me because of what I told him before or what."

"What did you tell him before?"

"The truth. I told him that I lied, that I remembered everything about me shooting. He was devastated. I left. But that was only after we - I kissed him."

That got a reaction out of him – a small smile and a raised eyebrow.

"You told him. Did he say anything?"

"No. He wouldn't even look at me."

"Did you explain why? Did you tell him that you needed that time to heal?"

Kate lowered her head. "No. I just left. I – I couldn't face him."

"Kate, you were nowhere near ready to talk about your shooting with him. You need to explain to him why you couldn't deal with that then."

She sighed. "I know."

"Do you? Kate I know you're struggling, and I know you've been struggling for a long time. I know you have trouble trusting people, but you can be honest with me, and I know you can be honest with Richard Castle. Give him a chance to listen, Kate. Don't just give up. You owe him that much."

"I tried calling him. He won't even pick up the phone."

"You've got to keep trying, Kate. I think he'll surprise you."

"There's more." Kate's voice went grave, her expression even more solemn."

"Yes?"

"When – when I was – they told me he had information – he was investigating my mother's murder, and he never told me!"

"I see."

"You see?!" Kate jerked up angrily. "My mother's murder! He never even told me!"

"I understand your anger Kate, but just as you deserve a chance to explain yourself, you have to give him one too."

"Yeah." She nodded jerkily. "You can be damn sure I'll ask him for an explanation.

"Kate."

"I know, I know." Her anger lost some of its spirit as she slumped against the bed. The narcotics were beginning to recede, and her pain was growing stronger.

Her breath grew short and painful, and her chest had another sudden pain. One hand clutched the bedsheet while the other went to her heart. Her monitors grew wild, and Burke was shoved out of the way as nurses swarmed around her. Her vision went blurry, and she didn't even notice him leave.

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><p>Yup. So there it is. Just to let you know, this story is also recovery fic, so we've got a long way to go. I'd say we're about halfway through. Maybe a little more. Anyways, drop me a note if you feel so inclined. They always make my day. :)<p> 


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